Dear Diary
by Ejes
Summary: Freshly transferred, Kagura keeps a diary where she writes everything, about her fears, her joys, and even about that annoying guy seating next to her... Lazy and full of himself student, Okita keeps a diary where he tells about his days, his sister, his pranks, and even about that stupid transferred student... 3Z universe, weekly update!
1. September

_Hi There ! I'm back with a new story~ The format is a bit different from what I usually do: it's written like a Diary and therefore a chapter = a month. This means that the end of the chapter doesn't necessarily mean a cliffhanger... I hope that won't stop you from reading it though!_

_Disclaimer : I do not own Gintama, nor its characters.  
>Note : I'm not a Native English Speaker. Please forgive anything that sounds wrong.<em>

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><p><em>September, 3rd<em>

Why did I decide to write a stupid diary?

A new student got transferred today. The teacher said she is from China. Not much to tell about her, only that her big cerulean eyes and fire hair are drawing lots of attention. She's certainly not Einstein. Her Japanese rips my ears, and since she's sitting the seat next to me, she kept on talking to me. I can't stand her voice. I didn't answer, she slowly got I wasn't interested. I mean, it was pretty obvious that she got interested in me, as I'm the prettiest boy out there. But such a regular girl doesn't deserve my attention. Even I have principles.

September, 5th

Dear Diary,

I've been in this school for 3 days now, and honestly, I don't know what to think. Most of the students are just pretending I don't exist – because I'm a foreigner. The teacher probably got his diploma in a box of cereal, he's smoking while doing the lectures, and the pupils are weird. Like, really. One of them eat a full jar of mayonnaise with his lunch every day. Another is stalking the teacher. There's this girl pretending she's a guy, and this long-haired dude who looks like he's in his thirties and hangs out with a freak dressed up as a duck. And there's the guy next to me. Anego (Shimura Tae, the only one being nice to me) told me not to care about him, as he is a moron full of himself. Even seeing him gets on my nerves, actually. He's looking down on me, but soon he'll regret that...

_September, 15th_

Stupid sheet of paper,

Nothing interesting happened today. Was late, slept in class. I poured some hot sauce in Hijikata's mayonnaise and I watched him slowly suffocate. The funniest part was when I offered him some bread "to help" and he didn't see the hot pepper powder on it... It became less funny when that stupid teacher sent me to the board to correct every single exercise we did. The whole day. He told me next time he'd call my family to report me. I need to be more discreet, or to change my target.

_September, 30th_

Dear Diary,

This time I just couldn't hold it. Yesterday on the evening, I was given a charge to clean the classroom with Okita Sougo, the guy next seat. As usual he didn't talk to me, and we were about to leave, he showed me a last piece of paper we forgot to throw away. He asked me if I didn't care doing it as he was a little bit in a hurry. Really, it was nothing, so I didn't mind. But when I picked the "paper", I saw it was in fact a box full of cockroaches. Alive. This morning, I was at school early and put a pin at the very end of his shoes. How pleasant to see him limping the whole day.

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><p><em>End of this month! As I told you, no cliffhanger, but let's just say that Kagura started a war... That is going to get worse and worse as the day flies!<em>

_Next week : October, and since it will be Christmas, I'm working on a surprise~ Stay tuned!_


	2. October

_Merry Christmas ! Has Santa given you what you wished for? Let me be Santa too! As promised, a present is waiting. Today, there will not be ONE but TWO updates! This chapter, and a special story, called "All I want for Christmas"! Go and read it!_

_Now let this chapter... BEGIIIIIIIIIIIN!_

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><p><em>October, 8th<em>

One week till the Chinese girl (China, as I call her to remember she's not from here) started war. Besides the razor blades hidden in her books, I managed to sprinkle some itching powder on her PE clothes. She wriggled for the whole sport class. At first, when I heard her brother was also in this school, and that he was insanely strong, I was a bit worried, but it looks like he doesn't give a damn about what could happen to his sister. Even if that's something I don't need to bother about, I don't really get why, but learning that destroyed my mood. I guess that's because I'd kill anyone hurting my sister. Well, at least he won't get in the way.

_October, 12th_

Dear Diary,

Papy hasn't been home for three days. Kamui usually acts as if I weren't here, so the atmosphere is a bit heavy. Next week-end, I'm going shopping with Anego, Kyuubei and Sa-Chan. At first I thought they were weird, but as I get to know them I get used to it I guess. It's Sadist turn to play. I replaced his nutella sandwich by a Sadaharu's poop sandwich. Until today, I always thought no one's face could turn really green... He spent the whole afternoon puking. The teacher thinks I might be involved but doesn't have any proof. Hijikata came to tell me that he fully supported my cause, and the gorilla (I think his name is Kondo, but Anego calls him gorilla) told me he was glad to see the Sadist finally making friends, but he asked me not to go too far with my jokes.

That Sadist and I, friends ? As if !

_October, 20th_

It's been a week since I last went to school. Shimura, the class rep, came to give me her notes of the class and to check if I was okay. We both agreed to let anyone think I was ill because of China's prank. I hope she'll feel guilty. Things are getting better, and I'll probably be back at school soon, but... I mean, everything can change right away. I called the teacher, he told me it was fine to let my phone turned on. Just to be sure.

_October 22__nd_

Dear Diary,

The Sadist is still not back. At first I was really proud of myself, but I'm starting to think I have nothing to do with him not being here. Anego always speaks of something else when I'm trying to talk about him, Kondo and Hijikata were sharing worried looks, and Ginpachi-sensei told me that sometimes, it was good to know when not to ask. I don't know what's going on, but it seems pretty serious. I hate when everyone but me knows something!

Anyway, I forgot to talk about our shopping week-end! It was really great, and I bought a new coat for winter. We ate taiyaki (fish-shaped chocolate-filled pastries) and that was delicious! We saw Yamazaki, one of our classmate and the Badminton Club President, with a huge bag filled with Anpan. He must have loads of siblings to buy that much!

_October 25th_

Here I am, back in school. I'm trying to ignore the pity in "those who know"'s eyes. The gleam of sympathy from the teacher. Instead, I focus on the only eyes that aren't looking at me : China. She ignored me almost all day, and even if that's weird, that comforted me. So much that it almost made me happy to sit on my chair that was covered with water, to suddenly wake up when I felt her drawing on my face while I was taking a nap. She acted just as I never left. When I opened my shoes locker, there was a paper taped on the door. "Don't you think I'll go easy on you". That made me smile.

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><p><em>This story seems to be liked by you, and I am truly happy by that! Thank you so much!<em>

_Once again, Merry Christmas! See you next week!_


	3. November

_Happy New Year everyone ! Have you made any resolution? Do you think you will hold them?  
><em>_Here is our new chapter, to start the year!_

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><p><em>November, 9th<em>

Dear Diary,

Papy left. Again. He even forgot my birthday a week ago. He said he wouldn't be back for a month or so, that Kamui and I should take care of each other. But lastly, that dumb big bro changed. Before, he was just ignoring me, but he's starting to become aggressive. Telling me I shouldn't be here. That he's inviting friends and that he _hopes_ not to see me. I'm not what you could call a lovely kid, but I really dislike his friends. Takasugi, Abuto, and other bullies whom I don't know the name. It looks like he needs to prove them he's the one giving order at home. That he ain't got any weakness. I'm doing my best to go home late after school.

I found the soles of my town shoes stained with a red liquid. Anego told me it was probably ink, but knowing the Sadist, it was more likely animal blood. For my revenge, I'm thinking of gluing together all the pages of his notebooks, or to tear them and tape them in a random order. Yes, I'll do this tomorrow. It will give me an excuse for coming home late.

_November, 11th_

This morning, China was in a really good mood. She hummed me a good morning that made me shiver. I checked my locker, my chair, my table, everything clear. Class started, I wasn't really paying attention, my textbook opened on the table... And I saw the tape. As I browsed the copybook, I understood what she did. To every single book. She was giggling and tears filled her eyes, as she was trying her best not to laugh out loud. She didn't even see the teacher throwing a chalk right in her forehead. Victorious, I smiled at her. And I got hit by another chalk.

For a while, I thought about stopping time. Not having to come home. Staying here, thinking of what prank I should do next. And then I realised how selfish I was... I feel guilty for having such thoughts.

_November, 20th_

Dear Diary,

I want to disappear. Just to stop existing. Life at home is becoming hell. Kamui's friend are coming over more and more often, and when I say that I'd like to invite friends to, he glares at me telling me "I don't think you really want to introduce me your friends". And he's right. I hate him. He spends his time on the kitchen/living room, watching TV, so I shorten as possible my dinners. Anego noticed I was losing weight and got worried, but I told her it was just a cold. The positive point is that since I'm staying late at school to work, my grades are getting better. At least one good point.

Before going home, I spread nuoc-nâm on the Sadist table. The smell of fermented fish will impregnate the wood.

_November, 21st_

When I entered the classroom, the fish smell was awful. The teacher had to improvise a PE session while the room was ventilating.

We started running, and China fainted. Shimura told me she was sick. She didn't look ill to me, though. The teacher decided that I would be the one taking her to the infirmary. In a way, he just allowed me to slack off. At the very moment I was about to leave her in the nurse's hands, I saw a purple mark on her wrist, just like if someone violently grabbed her. Probably my imagination. I didn't see her again today.

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><p><em>Leave a review ! And see you next week~<em>


	4. December

**Hi there ! Today might not be the best day to post this chapter, as it isn't really a cheerful one and while my country is mourning, but I'm still posting it.**

**As some of you may now, yesterday, on the 7th of January 2015, in France, three men with guns broke into "Charlie Hebdo"'s office and killed 12 people. Those people were working for this newspaper as cartoonists, drawing satirical stuff, caricaturing people, no matter the gender, no matter the origin, no matter the religion. Those were just drawings about what was going on in the world. And those three people just shot them, because they did not agree with that, because they felt insulted. They wanted to "avenge the prophet". No religion I know allows murder because you disagree with an idea. This is a selfish, cold and inhuman act. My country is a country where we are free to express ourselves. Free to draw, to sing, to write whatever we want. We do not fear bullets. We will keep on drawing, singing, writing whatever we want, whenever we want it. Because we are free.**

**I'm sorry about that long post, but I feel it's important to share that with you guys. Now, you can read that chapter which might not be that happy itself...**

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><p><em>December, 3rd<em>

Dear Diary,

Since I collapse, I'm trying to eat more. I wake up early to have a quiet breakfast, and I'm pretending Kamui isn't here when it's dinner time. Sometimes, he just pushes me if I'm on his way, or makes me trip with a grin. I'd like Papy to come back. But I need to be strong.

Lately, some girls at school had trouble with weird guys when coming home. The police is asking us to avoid getting home alone. All my friends are living on the opposite direction, but the Sadist and I are both living on the West ; he suggested to take me home "to make sure I'm not the one molesting those girls". I refused, because that would mean coming home early. I answered quickly, too quickly, and I think he noticed something was weird. I said I had a part-time job. He nodded but I don't think he believes me.

He seems to be elsewhere lately.

_December, 5th_

I hate winter. It's cold and sickness spreads, worsen. Worsen. Worsen.

China looks plumper (well it still looks like she would break just by touching her) but dark circles are showing under her eyes. And I feel like even if she refuses me to walk her home, it has nothing to do with me really. I'm doing my best to keep my mind busy, so I'm getting interested by her life.I noticed she kept watching at her feet when her brother is nearby. Hunches her shoulders. I'm afraid to understand what is going on. To make the connection with the bruises she gets.

Looks like that's not the best way to keep my mind busy. Now I've got two things to worry about.

_December, 14th_

Dear Diary,

On the 8th, the Sadist stopped coming to class. Again. The 12th, Hijikata left. Kondo looks terrible. I offered Anego my help for her duty (giving textbooks to the absents), I would give the Sadist his papers. Anego told me with a soft, unusual voice that she understood how much I wanted to know, but that I would probably not be pleased by what I'd discover. I'm not sure to get that. Worse, I'm imagining what it means, and I can feel knots in my stomach just by thinking about all those horrible scenarios that came to my mind. I'm going tomorrow evening, and although I want to know, I'm also a bit scared.

_December, 15th_

China visited me a bit earlier this day. At first I told her to go to hell and to leave the paper in the mailbox, I told her I was sick and it was contagious. She refused to leave. She said she'd be ready to camp before the door if she had to. It took me 20 minutes to give in: it was freezing cold outside, my sister would have killed me to let her outside. When she saw my pale face, my dark circles, my puffy and swollen red eyes, she stepped back. Then she asked if she could come in with a tiny voice.

I served tea, silent. She didn't talk either, her eyes scanning the room, probably wondering what could make me look so miserable. I ended up telling her the whole story. Her eyes filled with tears, she nodded. She didn't say anything. Just nodded.

We finished our tea in a heavy silence, she put the papers on the table and she left. Just before she put her shoes on, she took my hand for a second or so, looked at me right in the eyes and told me "I've been through that too. If you need something, just call. And if there's any news tell me all right? " and she was gone. I don't know why, but her words made me cry.

_December, 17__th_

Dear Diary,

Why do I have to live this all again? This time I'm not at the centre of the story, more like a witness. But that doesn't make things easier.

At the beginning of the day, Ginpachi-sensei asked us with a soft voice to be quiet. Usually there's no one to listen, but we all felt it was different. He told us what I already knew, that Okita had an older sister, who was very very ill. She had tuberculosis, an illness that affects lungs. When December came, her sickness worsened, and she had to go to the hospital. Then he told us what I didn't knew. Last night, it became worse and worse. Doctors couldn't do anything. She died by the morning.

He asked us to respect a minute of silence. Hijikata, Kondo and I didn't listen. We got up, we left the room. The teacher didn't say a word.

In the hospital, a nurse told us that only family was authorized. Hijikata said they had no family left. So the nurse took us to a room with an empty bed, with the Sadist sitting on a chair, his look blank, a man in white talking to him with a quiet voice.

Hijikata asked the doctor if that was true. When the man said it was, Hijikata fell silent. A tear, then another, then loads of others, rolled down his cheeks. Kondo didn't look fine either, but he pushed me towards the Sadist before putting a comforting hand on Hijikata's shoulder.

I was really young when my mother died, from illness too, but I remember that no word could dull my pain. So I just took a chair, placed it next to the Sadist's, and rested my head on his shoulder, his hand in mine. None of us moved and he fell asleep.

Kondo ended up carrying him home; we followed. I prepared some warm chocolates and snacks, we turned the TV on and Hijikata drowned his mind in it, to stop thinking.

When the Sadist woke up, he asked us to stay for the night. Tomorrow will come all the formalities and he wasn't strong enough to take care of it alone. I suggested to ask Ginpachi-sensei to come over tomorrow, as an adult he might know better how to do things. The idea was accepted.

I got home to take a few things, and to write down everything on this diary. Kamui isn't home yet, so I'm taking my time. I'm going to buy extra food on the way, just to be just Okita doesn't need anything.

I'm not going to let him think he's alone and turn bad like my brother.

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><p><strong>Aaand that's it! Review? =D<strong>

**To end on a merrier note, last week end I did a cosplay photoshoot with a friend, as Movie!Okita and Yoshiwara!Kagura. I'm so excited to see the pictures!**


	5. January

_Oh dear I almost forgot to uplad this chapter, sorry! I'm quite in a hurry so no chatting today :p_

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><p><em>January, 4th<em>

No matter how hard, how tough it is, life goes on. The first week was horrible. I know I'm lucky that there was always someone by my side. Someone being strong when I couldn't. I know Hijikata suffered as much as I did. Everyone knew how dear my sister was to him. The funerals took place without incident. It was a simple ceremony, and since my sister was my only family left... Some of her friends were there. And almost everyone from the 3-Z. China stayed by my side for the whole day, doing small talk. I asked the teacher what she meant when she told me she already went through that, and I learnt about her mother. I can see how painful it is to her to live that again through me, so I did my best to listen to her, and even to laugh a bit at her silly jokes. I even got the courage to put some cod-liver oil in her apple juice. She emptied the glass on my head and the teacher got mad at her. And time flew. Social services wanted to find me a foster family, and Kondo offered to do it (I seriously don't know how old this guy is) for the last year before I'm 18. We're sharing an apartment now. On the morning of the 25th, I found a pile of presents around our Christmas Tree (even though it's not such of a tradition in this country). There were all anonymous, but one of them contained a dog poop and a paper stating "Truce is over". At the bottom of the box, a stick of incense with a label "for your sister". Then, at the end of the holidays, I went back to school. Zaki, Hijikata, Kondo and I went praying at the shrine for the new year, and even if pain's still here, sharp as ever, I'm able to live an almost normal life.

By the way, I still need to get revenge for the porn magazines that fell from my shoe locker when I opened it, in front of forty person.

_January, 6th_

Dear Diary,

I quickly saw Papi earlier. He came home, asked if everything was fine between Kamui and me. I told him Kamui invited really weird friends home, but he just smiled and told me I had to let Kamui live his life, that I was older now and I couldn't keep my brother just for me. Let's note that this wonderful big bro I want to keep for my self did a painful arm lock because I wanted to take "his" orange juice. But as soon as Papi told me he was leaving again for an indeterminate time, I understood it was not worth keeping on complaining. When I was little, he spent a lot of time with us, but when Mami died it all changed. He worked more and more, leaving home for long times, telling Kamui to take care of me. However, rather than taking care of his lovely little sister, he was calling a baby-sitter and was hanging out in town the whole day. Our abandon doesn't even affect me anymore. As soon as I'm turning 18 (next November...) I'm leaving this house.

I was running short on ideas for the Sadist (yesterday he "tripped" while holding a bucket full of fresh range eggs) so Anego suggested that I tape with double-faced tape his shoes and also his chair. She tried a brand on the Gorilla and it worked pretty well. Let's try that!

_January, 14th_

Today I splashed oxygenated water on China's hair. She didn't get what it was and told me how disappointed of me she was to see me doing such a weak thing. I can't wait to be tomorrow and to see her stupid face with her hair partially bleached!

She kept her scarf in class. When the teacher asked her to take it off so that she wouldn't be cold when going outside, she refused. She moved once and I saw the colour of her neck. I can't be the only one noticing all her bruises. My eyes met Shimura's and I knew. I wasn't the only one. She mimed me to meet her at the end of the day. She might know more than what I do.

_January, 15th_

Dear Diary,

Anego is hiding something from me. I don't know what, but yesterday everning she disappeared as soon as the bell rang, and when I asked her to help me with my maths she told me she was in a hurry and she'd help me another time.

My neck hurts. I'm doing my best to hide it, but I thing the teacher saw it. When I close my eyes, I still can see Kamui's death stare while I was choking, I still hear him telling me with an icy voice that the next time I speak badly to him, he'd break my neck. I should leave, but I can't. He's my only family. For the best and the worst.

Anyway, this morning I was dreaded to to that my hair had blonde spots all over it! It took me a while to understand it was because of the Sadist's water. I poked a hole in an ink cartridge and I emptied it on the back of his white shirt while he was looking away. He didn't notice. I still have to find how to get my real hair colour back!

_January, 20th_

The plan Shimura and I imagined is setting up. When she's talking to China about her bruises, she's talking about falls, about how she hit herself while opening the cupboard. We have to find another solution. As long as she doesn't admit it herself, there's nothing we can do. It makes me sick to let this happening, to know it's happening, but to be unable to do anything. Shimura tries to dissuade me to have a personal revenge, but I feel like it's going to end that way anyway. She told me all that would bring would be more violence on China. That's the only thing keeping me from killing one or two people.

Today, I sprinkled sand on China's bento. To think that the first time I saw her, I thought she was insignificant...She became my favourite toy.

And no one, _no one_ hurts my toys.

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><p><em>Liked, didn't like ? Tell me about it, leave a review!<em>


	6. February

_**Hi there ! Here is the sixth chapter of the story ! I hope you enjoyed the latter one, and you will enjoy this one as well !**_

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><p><em>February, 1st<em>

Dear Diary,

Last week-end, Anego told me she wanted to go to the pool. I told her I didn't know how to swim (which is true), but she insisted so much I couldn't refuse. Kyuubei, Otsuu, Sa-chan also came along.

The moment they saw me in my swimming suit was obviously the moment they saw my brother's signs of "affection" : a footprint on my back (I was in his way), several bruises from pinches. Hard to pretend it was from a fall, but I couldn't tell them the truth.

Anego told me that such a situation was all but normal, and that I had to talk about it before something really bad happened. I told her I wasn't ready for that yet, and she said she understood and that she'd always be there to talk. I haven't reached yet the point of no return, the situation at home is still bearable and I don't want Kamui to be in trouble – Papi's reputation would take a blow and I can't just do that to him. Anego is right : one day or another, it'll be too late. I just have to hope I will react before that day.

_February, 8th_

I don't know whether it's because of the pressure, of my small depression due to the discovery of a photo album where my sister and I were kids with our parents, or because of China's splint on the hand, because she "accidentally hit her finger on a door", but I've been worked out the whole day, and now I'm excluded for three days. Had not Ginpachi-sensei been there, things would have gotten worse for me, I bet. But I'm pretty sure he's more aware of the situation than what he tells. This guy is a failure as a teacher, but as a human being, he is the one who cares the most about his student.

Still, I might have broken someone's nose today. And it might not be an accident.

Let's say I had the advantage of taking them by surprise. I noticed Takasugi, Kamui and their friends circle a small group of first years, because one of them had bumped on Takasugi. While they were joking about how they would punish this boy, I tapped on Kamui's shoulder, and I threw my fist right in his face. I'm skilled enough in fighting to dodge the hits he was throwing at me – and so was Takasugi, who managed to hit me in the ear, disorientating me. If the teachers didn't chose this moment to interfere, I probably wouldn't be here to write those words...

Not that I'm regretting anything. If only I could, I would destroy these guys right away.

And I didn't even have to time to cover China's books with jelly.

_February, 14th_

Dear Diary,

I never hated Valentine's Day so much. I woke up early to cook chocolates. Some for my friends, some for Ginpachi-sensei (who threatened me to put me a zero if he didn't have any), and some for the Sadist. I had to thank him for my brother's nose, that's just starting to deflate, and I couldn't be more grateful to him for punching this bastard. Any change on his expressions were painful and I spent a whole week without seeing him and without being hit even once. He wakes up late and is kipping classes.

But not today, as it seems. I let the chocolates cool down while I was brushing my teeth, and when I got back he was there. Chocolate smeared over his face. And not a single treat on the table. He greeted me with a "Nice you cooked me those! Going back to bed, see ya!". And that was the final straw.

How weird to think that I took every hit, every insult without a word, but just seeing him reducing to nothing what took me so much time, and was meant to my friends, made me going berserk. I threw my leg right at his family jewels. I went to my room, took a bag, threw clothes, toothbrush, toothpaste, and this diary, and I left. He didn't say a thing. Just watched me leave. For the moment, I'll just go to school. Tell Anego the truth. The Sadist too, I think.

There's no way I'd live like that anymore.

_February, 15th_

Yesterday, I received lots of chocolate. Like every year, I guess. But when China arrived, eyes full of tears, telling she wanted to give some to everyone but her brother ate them all, the only thing I could think of was that she made some for me too. And probably not poisoned ones.

The other big thing was that she asked Shimura if she could talk to her about what was going on at her place. Things are finally going to change. Shimura told me she took some pictures of China's bruises; now that she talked we will be able to speak to the teacher. And to a social assistant. Maybe even to the police. Things were slowly setting off.

This morning, together with Shimura, she came to see me and told me everything.

How her brother always ignored her. How she never cared. How he changed since he met Takasugi, how he became violent. How he pulled her hair every day, pinched her, hit her. She told me she tried her best to see the good on him, because he was her only brother. Unique. Irreplaceable. She couldn't stop loving him, no matter how horrible he was to her.

She told me all this with a trembling voice, Shimura holding her hand. My fists were clenched and I felt like killing Kamui. She told me she wanted this all to stop.

And I promise it will.

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><p><em><strong>Aaaand I've got bad news. I'm dropping this story.<strong>_

_**.**_

_**.**_

_**.**_

_**Okay just kidding! It's just that next chapter will be the last one! Please be here to read it :3**_


	7. March

**I am SO sorry, I totally forgot to post it yesterday! Sorrysorrysorry! Let's just pretend the waiting will make you like this more :p  
>So yep, final chapter!<strong>

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><p><em>March, 8th<em>

Dear Diary,

I'm still not completely used to this new life. I have a new house. Ginpachi-sensei is fostering me, and I'm living with him. Anego comes over a lot to be sure this useless pervert teacher is treating me well, but really he is. I'm helping him with the housework, he helps me with the homework. He gives me lots of idea to torture the Sadist, and as long as he doesn't see me doing them (or at least as long as no one notices he saw me), he gives me immunity!The latter one was to handcuff him to his table and to throw the key by the window. He'd been stuck there until evening when someone cut the handcuffs with pliers. His furious face was something I will never forget.

In the end, we're both orphans, both living under someone else's roof. My social assistant withdrew custody from my father (who looked relieved actually), and my brother was sentenced to 6 months of community service, after I deeply insisted that his sentence would not be too harsh. I sometimes meet him in the hallways, but he just ignores me. It's better that way.

_March, 14th_

Today's White Day. A stupid Japanese tradition where boys thanks girls who gave them chocolates with a present three times the value of their present. Usually I just don't bother and don't give anything back, but Hijikata became a drag, telling me I'd better give China something. She didn't gave me anything strictly speaking (I never had the chance to eat one of her chocolates) but worries... Well, 3 times, right?

I planned something more ambitious than whatever I ever did to her before. I slipped a letter in her shoebox, with a fake confession, telling her to go on the roof at noon. I did that to Zaki too (if something went wrong with my plans at least she'd think he was the author of the letter). At the lunch break, I displayed a ladder next to the door, stuck a ball on the gutter to pretend I was trying to get it back, I sent Zaki watching the _wooonderful view_ from a spot where he couldn't see me, and I waited.

I didn't have to wait for too long (She was always chatting a bit when the break was starting), and when she opened the door, the ladder fell with a big noise. Anticipating where it would fall, I lied next to it.

At first, when she understood what happened, she pointed me while laughing loudly. Then, seeing I wasn't moving at all, she started worrying. Zaki also heard the noise and dashed towards me.

They both started to panick. When she checked if I was breathing, I held it. Zaki wanted to check my pulse, but I thought of that too : a small ball in my armpit, firmly pressed between my arm and my chest, and my pulse was just gone. This is when I heard her bursting into tears while Zaki was almost hysterical, wondering who to call, if it was better to hide the body and not tell anyone... (I'll remember this Zaki).

China asked Zaki if he could leave her alone for a moment, as she needed to calm down from the shock and think about what was the most responsible thing to do. As soon as the door closed, she stopped crying. She got up, thinking out loud that maybe she could throw my body over the roof and pretending I fell before she could get there... I must confess I was a bit scared at that point. And then a foot landed on my stomach, knocking the wind out of me, and China looked at me with a sadistic smile. "Look at that, I can bring back dead people to life!". My plan wasn't as perfect as I thought it was, I guess...She slapped me (hard) as a revenge, because she believed it for a while. To apologize for going this far (although I wasn't sorry at all, and even her looked more amused than angry), I'm taking her to the karaoke. Still an hour before we meet up there.

Why can't I suppress this stupid smile from my face?

_April, 7th_

Dear Diary,

A new year is starting.

Before the spring break, the Sadist and I went to the karaoke. Then later to the theatre. Downtown. To a café. To the amusement park.

Dear diary, it looks like he and I are dating. That doesn't mean that we stop making each other's life a living hell, just that we're spending more time together, sometimes holding hands, sometimes kissing.

Dear Diary,

When I first came here, I was scared of what kind of life I would have. I was scared to have no friend. Scared to be rejected.

Time passed, and I started to be scared of my own brother. Scared of my future.

But, dear diary, here I am now. I've got wonderful friends, I'm living with a good-for-nothing who is taking care of me, and I've got a boyfriend who isn't scared to fight me, to fight with me.

I am thankful that you've been my confident for all this time. Who knows what this new year will bring?

See you later, dear diary. I need to hurry : There's a table and a chair I absolutely need to glue on the ceiling before class starts!

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><p><strong>The End.<strong>

**Thank you so much for reading this far, thank you if you let a review, thank you even if you didn't, and you can follow me if you wanna know the next time I publish something!**


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